12 days of Glassmass

>, humor>12 days of Glassmass

Whether you celebrate the Christian/pagan day or not, best wishes for a festive holiday season, and much hope and joy for the last 5 days of the year and the 365 to follow. Here’s what should be the last of my fractured carols for 2010:

The 12 days of Glassmass

On the first day of Glassmass my true love gave to me
A kilnforming lesson or three

On the second day of Glassmass my true love gave to me
Two slumping molds
And a kilnforming lesson or three

On the third day of Glassmass my true love gave to me
Three pounds of frit
Two slumping molds
And a kilnforming lesson or three

On the fourth day of Glassmass my true love gave to me
Four sheets of glass
Three pounds of frit
Two slumping molds
And a kilnforming lesson or three

On the fifth day of Glassmass my true love said to me
Five platters please!
Sell them, we’ll get rich
Says right here
Get rich making glass
Got a gallery waiting for these!

On the sixth day of Glassmass that sweetie said to me
Heard from the gallery
More platters please!
Twenty bucks a pop
Moving fast
See how well they sell
With a kilnforming lesson or three!

On the seventh day of Glassmass my darling said to me
Step up production
Heard from the gallery
More platters please!
Now he wants some bowls
And some plates
He’ll pay two bucks each
At this rate we’ll be rich, you’ll see!

On the eighth day of Glassmass my boyfriend said to me
Glass is expensive
Let’s be more careful
Heard from the gallery
Five platters please!
Let’s not waste that glass
Don’t need frit
Try to stretch it out
Or we’ll never get rich, you see!

On the ninth day of Glassmass that guy, he said to me
Here is a spreadsheet
Glass is expensive
We’re losing money
Heard from the gallery
Five platters please!
Twenty bucks a pop
Ain’t enough
Gotta raise the price
Cause we don’t make a profit on these!

On the tenth day of Glassmass my dumb love said to me
Stop spending money
Here is a spreadsheet
Glass is expensive
We’re losing money
Heard from the gallery
No platters please!
When I raised the price
They said no
Gotta make ’em cheap
Or we’re stuck with the inventory!

On the eleventh day of Glassmass that moron said to me
Try using float glass
What is the difference?
Here is a spreadsheet
Glass is expensive
We’re losing money
Fuse them together
Screw COE!
Anything to cut
All these costs
Gotta make ’em cheap
Or we’re stuck with the inventory!

On the twelfth day of Glassmass my ex-love said to me
Honey, been thinkin’
Glass market’s sinkin’
Raising chinchilla
Growing vanilla
Could be the answer
To this disaster
What do you think of
Cabbage patch dolls?
All we gotta do
Is hock your ring
Then I know this guy
And we’ll get rich quick, you’ll..

(slam)
Uhm….Honey? Sweetie? It’s cold out here…Honey?

And a bonus:

Have yourself
A merry little Glassmass!
Hope your kilns stay hot
Wishing you the best of all creative spots

Have yourself
A merry little Glassmass,
And a glass-filled day!
Thermal shock forever to be miles away

Never more will your pieces break
And your molds won’t shake apart
Castuaries will speed along
Coldworking will be a song!

Some day soon
I hope we get together
Sharing glass and more

Until then we’ll all sell glasswork by the score!

So have yourself
A merry little Glassmass now!

Happy holidays, everyone!

2017-07-29T20:52:57+00:00

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