Dubious distinctions

Four airlines have announced plans to provide e-mail and Internet access inflight for passengers.

Oh good. Now i can e-mail ahead to tell everyone my plane is two hours late. (Assuming enough space on the tray table to actually use the laptop)

US President Bush reached out to panicked homeowners facing ballooned mortgages, telling them to call a toll-free number for help: 1-800-995-HOPE.

Unfortunately, the correct number is 1-888-995-HOPE. The one Bush gave actually belongs to a conservative religious foundation advocating home-schooling for children. At least it wasn’t 1-800-FONESEX.

An article in the Wall St. Journal says that mobile phones are becoming a significant crime detection tool…because criminals tend to snap phoneshots of themselves committing the crime.

Maybe the old saying, “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time,” should be changed to “Don’t SHOOT the crime if you can’t do the time.”

I think someone should give whoever wrote this headline an award…or a pink slip:

N.H. Puts Ties Clintons Built To the Test

What do you think it means? I had to read the Washington Post story to find out: The New Hampshire primaries will put the ties that Hillary and Bill Clinton have built over the last decade to the test.

I guess there are just some things that don’t shortcut very well…

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