Tis the season to be whacko

Fa la la la LA. La la la laaaaaaa.

Must be something in the air. Or maybe the water. Whatever it is, the criminal class in glassland appears to have slid a notch farther off the rocker this week:

• Guy tries to rob a downtown Portland carwash. He pulls out his gun, drops it, and the gun comes apart on the carwash floor. Carwash employee now remembers that he’s holding a pressure washer, so sprays the gunman full force in the face. Gunman grabs up the pieces of gun and flees, empty-handed.
• 88-year old woman is puttering around in her kitchen when a naked stranger steps through the sliding glass door that she left open for the dog. He backs her into the living room, things are looking grim, then she grabs his testicles and “gives them a good squeeze,” according to the police report. eeeeeeeeeek. He backs off immediately, limps into his car and is arrested.
• PDX bomber discovers that it’s a lot cheaper to call in the bomb threat without actually makin

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