Gigi, part I

Gigi-the-iPhone 3G is a self-contained unit; everything you need either comes in the box or can be downloaded for free from iTunes and the Apple Apps Store.

Sorta.

Gigi and I are still in the early stages of our relationship, just slightly past suspicious sniffing and beginning the tentative growls of friendship. For my part, I’m finding her to have a rich array of diversions that so far offset her demands and caprices.

I suspect that Gigi feels she’s accidentally been left with a peasant but must graciously make the best of it until her real owner shows. It is faintly irritating to have a device that obviously thinks you’re not good enough for it, but that’s pretty typical Apple.

This first manifested itself when I plugged in the official iPhone earbuds. “Uhm, excuse me…Ms. Peasant? Would you mind plugging in my real headset?”

“These are them, er…these are the ones that came in your box, Gigi.”

“My dear, you MUST be joking. I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in those.”

I had to admit the earbuds weren’t all that comfortable, so we (Gigi and I) headed over to the Apple store for better ones. There, a very nice Apple Geniusperson explained the ins and outs of iPhone accessories.

“Oh, yes, you’ll want a nice stereo headset for listening to music,” he nodded, “but it won’t work for phoning. For that, you’ll want a good bluetooth earphone. You can get by with that most of the time, but you probably also want a hands-free speaker for the car; it’s safer, you know.”

I hooted with laughter…then caught Gigi’s glare and shut up. “THREE headsets?”

“Well, and you’ll need a couple of speaker docks for when you just want to listen to music. I’d recommend putting one in your office and maybe the kitchen and bedroom. Then you’ll probably want a portable headset for when you’re at work.”

It was slowly dawning on me that there might be another reason that Apple halved Gigi’s price, the ol’ give-away-the-razors-and-sell-the-blades bit…”And that’s it?”

“Well, not quite. If you’re using a headset at work you probably want a charging stand to go with it…these things only get about 5 hours of battery life, you know. That’s why most of the speakers are also charging stands. And then you’ll want a special AV cable for hooking your iPhone into the TV or an LCD projector.”

No doubt about it, Gigi was going to be the best-accessorized phone in bankruptcy court.

“Plus, you can’t use stereo headphones to listen to music in the car, it’s illegal, so I’d recommend a wireless unit that works through your car stereo system. And don’t forget, you’re going to need some kind of case to keep your phone from getting scratched. It also helps if you putsome kind of protective cover on the screen.”

“And you can sell me all that, right?”

“Of course,” he beamed, “Now, you’ll want a charging system for the car, too, plugs right into the cigarette lighter. And if you’re interested, we have this solar power charging system that lets you charge your iPhone when you’re outdoors, and a sports band so you can strap it to your leg or arm, but really, I think that’s overkill. Don’t you?”

I nodded weakly. “Right now, though, all I want is a better set of earbuds. With a mike…” Gigi’s screen suddenly blinked a low battery warning. “…oh, and an extra set of charging plugs.”

So right at the moment I’m dealing with a sulky phone (if you don’t believe me, c’maaan over and meet Gigi) and wondering how in the heck a device that slips into the back pocket of my skinny jeans needs a whole truckload of goodies to be happy.

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