Calling all you single girls…

…ever think of applying product marketing tactics to the task of finding a mate?

Chrissy Conant has. Chrissy’s an artist who builds graphic installations that define her inner fears and musings.

That’s graphic as in “I’m not sure I’d bring a lunch to the gallery…unless I wanted to bring it twice.” She’s done a “girl rug,” which essentially looks like her, skinned and stuck in front of the fireplace. It’s actually kind of attractive in a Silence of the Lambs sorta way.

The one that caught my eye, though, is an older installation, “Chrissy Caviar.” It’s a small freezer chest containing jars of eggs. Human eggs. Here’s how it plays out, according to Chrissy:

To express feelings as a single, available woman, who is looking for a mate, I took fertility drugs, harvested a dozen eggs, and sealed each one in its own fruit shaped glass jar with a shiny blue and gold label that has my reclining, smiling figure on it. The product is displayed in a refrigerated deli-case, kept at 3.9 degrees Celcius.* A marketing campaign surrounds the case, complete with a promotional Floaty pen, a poster sized print of the label ( signed, edition 50), a glossy print “advert”, a website, www.chrissycaviar.com, a 10 min DVD of the surgery, and a U.S. Government issued Registered Trademark Certificate for my official brand, Chrissy Caviar.

I suppose it’s statement art, which I said I hated. And it’s gross. And kinda creepy. On the other hand, I chuckled for a sec. She made her point, it’s witty and as soon as I say yeeeeech! a few more times I’ll forget about it.

Chrissy’s not missing an opportunity; apparently you can actually buy Chrissy Caviar for a quarter of a million dollars. (This is caviar for dieters–12 human eggs won’t need much of a toast point.) And she sells souvenir floaty pens, whatever those are. Posters. Google ads.

Ironically, Google’s ad engine has selected FineCaviar.com as a related advertisement. I guess thinking about those yummy human eggs makes the average art critic simply long for a few sturgeon eggs. Would be interesting to chart the clickthroughs, anyway.

You also can view a DVD of doctors gathering the eggs, which gives a whole new meaning to the word “henhouse.” Boy, would I love to have been a fly on the wall when she explained THIS to her gynecologist.

Who says you can’t make a profit on your kids?

But, Chrissy, if you’re still having trouble finding a mate, I might be able to offer a few tips…

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*OK, so artists can’t spell. Or punctuate correctly. And have a tendency to Capitalize Anything That Strikes Their Fancy. But what the heck? They’re artists.

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