Boxed in
March 13, 2010
I’ll admit I’m a gadgethead, love ‘em to death. But when did gadgetcool become “couldn’t open it with an IQ of 265 and a sledgehammer?”
Apple’s famous for making gorgeous-but-difficult packaging: Both my MacBook Pro and my iPhone came in boxes with no visible openings. Don’t even mention Microsoft; Office 2007 for Mac came in a clear acrylic puzzlebox that took as long to open as the software did to install.
But Motorola just won the dumb packaging of the year award with the Motorola Endeavor HX1 Bluetooth headset.
I bought it to replace my swiped Jawbone* after wading through the crowds at the Apple Store. ”Now, if you don’t like it,” promised the salesguy, “You have 14 days to return it. Don’t try to put it back in the box, just dump all the packaging in a bag and bring it back.”
I realized why he said that when I got it home. The Endeavor unit floats inside an aluminum and plastic box with no apparent entry point, kinda like that old “you’re locked into a room with no windows or doors…” brainteaser.**
I’m sure there’s some sort of antitheft policy going on here that makes cool-but-idiotic packaging desirable…but I suspect it’s going to do more to deter the legitimate customer than the thief. For the record, here’s how you actually get the Endeavor HX1 out of its package:
Cynthia’s 12-step program for opening a box
First, assemble your tools: You’ll need good light, about three square feet of empty tablespace, a slot-head screwdriver and a seam ripper, or a crochet hook with a knife.
Sometime after this, you actually start using the headset. So far, with one call under its belt, the Endeavor seems to be performing well. Even if it’s not, I’m not sure I could face opening another headset box anytime soon…
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*The Bluetooth headset, not the part of my skull that keeps my mouth shut.
**Assuming you actually can be LOCKED into a room that doesn’t have a lock. (No doors or windows, remember?)
An arm and a leg or three
March 11, 2010
I’m tempted to ask if this is what is meant by “a buttload” but, seeing as how I’m a classy chick, I’ll refrain.
Glass makes the news
March 10, 2010
Hey–just a fast note for Ernie lovers: Ernie’s mom is in the news.
Brenda Griffith, the powerhouse GlassValkyrie wonderwoman of Atlanta, is doing her best to convert the South to kilnforming (and beadmaking and glassblowing and, apparently, nude dates at the gloryhole, but that’s another story). She’s got a blog that’s fun to read; I’ve decided I want to be Brenda when I grow up.
And now FoxNews has reported on what she’s up to in a few segments. I’m not normally a fan of FoxAnything, but this is very cool. Give it a look.
I love it when glass (and a buddy) gets a headline. (And not a bad promo, either, Brenda. I notice you got a Bullseye t-shirt in there, your book, date night…way to go!)
Tree of life
March 8, 2010
“Cool tatt,” I said, nodding at the lines peeking out from under Sean’s sleeve, “Who’s the artist?”
“Oh, he’s back in Maine,” he explained, rolling up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal a massive outline of trees, flowers and very artistic nudes, embracing. “This is just the linework, none of it’s been filled in yet. I’ve got to get it finished because it really looks pretty dorky this way.”
He was in his early 20s, muscle-bound and smiling, and he’d walked up to the only open checkout line in the grocery store shortly before midnight on a Saturday night. [Read more]
Lisa
March 6, 2010
Right around lunchtime I heard a quiet tapping on my front door and sighed. (door to door peddlers famously interrupt my Saturday afternoons) I opened the door to a woman about 25, slim, vivacious and smiling.
“Hi!” she said brightly, “I’m Lisa, and you’re going to think this is really weird, but can I take a picture of your tree?”
Tea and crumpets with the Mayor
March 4, 2010
Well, sorta.
I mean, the Mayor wasn’t there, and they were serving apples and beer and wine instead of tea and crumpets, but other than that it’s true.
Portland Open Studios’ “10×10″ show opened tonight at City Hall in downtown glassland, and from the looks of things it’ll be a popular show. The rules were simple: Artists who’d been selected to be on the Portland Open Studios tour in 2009 were invited to submit a single work no bigger than ten inches by ten inches. The show would kick off, amidst much pomp and circumstance, with a formal unveiling of the city’s newest acquisition: The work of one of our artists.
Mayor Sam Adams was supposed to be there (Wouldn’t you know that Portland would have a mayor named after a beer? I swear, if glasslanders don’t have beer or coffee, what do they do? Die of thirst?). Unfortunately he couldn’t attend, so someone else did the ceremony stuff.
They unveiled the painting that was selected, read a proclamation declaring the second and third weekends in October as “Portland Open Studio Tours Weekends,” and we dove headfirst into the art.
Some cool stuff there. One of the coolest, in fact (and for multiple reasons), is at the top of this post: Peggy Alter‘s hummingbird sculpture. It’s made of sugar and chocolate, is absolutely stunning in person. And, given my “you can make art of anything” attitude, makes me chuckle whenever I see it.
And y’all ought to thank me–I was VERY tempted to entitle this post “Sweet Tweet” in honor of Ms. Alter’s sculpture…but nobly refrained.
Given that Portland IS glassland, there’s surprisingly little glass in this show–Andy Paiko offered a glass tricycle; Karumi Conley showed a lovely little glass chair (above, right), Laurene Howell had a glass panel there, and Morgan Madison (who I’ve yet to meet despite the fact that we’ve been in a couple of shows together) showed a really nice glass panel.
There were a couple of other glass pieces I couldn’t get to in the crowds, including mine. Interestingly enough, I think there was more encaustic in this show than glass–whoa! What’s up with that?
We definitely have to work on this whole glassland-at-POS thing.
The hay is feverish once more
March 4, 2010
Whoever invented spring should be SHOT.
There’s a reason I like looong winters and avoid bright, hot, sunshiny places like a vampire: Hay fever. I’m not entirely sure what I’m allergic to, but when I see blossoming trees and rivers of pollen flowing down the gutters with the rain, I know misery isn’t far behind.
Cassidy’s (American/Northwest)
March 3, 2010
Restaurant website
Location: I5 and Burnside, near the Crystal Ballroom
Price to stuff two: About $40
I pulled into the space, shut off the engine and a woman came flying up to the car. “You didn’t have to phone, I’m right here!” she scolded.
I peered through the open door–she sure wasn’t my dinner companion. “Uhm…may I help you?”
She stopped and turned beet red. ”Wait a minute–you’re not my friend! This is so embarrassing–you look like my friend and she drives the same kind of car…I’m sorry…”
“No problem,” I said, and went on into Cassidy’s, a restaurant that appears to have been a PDX fixture for maybe centuries (actually, since 1979). My friend Lyn waitressed there in college, had a hankering to see what the old place was up to and so we met at this old saloon-style restaurant for dinner.
I honestly didn’t expect much–these places usually serve barfood, so I resigned myself to indifferent burgers and chilifries or somesuch–but Cassidy’s surprised me with a really nice menu, almost budget-minded. They also offered small plates and large in a kind of northwest-tapas-chic-meets-a-lumberjack kinda way.
The menu emphasizes seafood and greens, and does them pretty well. We also tried the handcut fries with smoked pecorino and rosemary salt (well, we were in a saloon, for heaven’s sake, how can you NOT have something with potatoes?), then split off into small plates.
I had a really fabulous salad composee of grilled romaine spears with pickled egg, followed by shrimp in a sweet-hot sauce on lemon couscous. Lyn did crispy rock shrimp and calamari, after an arugula/pancetta salad.
Both were excellent and just exactly the right amount of food. The waiter was attentive, the owner came over to chat with Lyn about good old times when she worked there, and it just felt nice, like home.
So I’m not entirely sure why the restaurant was pretty much empty on a Friday night. Maybe it’s the parking; there was absolutely no street parking available so I wound up paying $5 in a parking lot. Or maybe it’s the location; the hotel next door seems to specialize in down-and-outers in what used to be known euphemistically as a “men’s hotel,” and they’re not shy about panhandling the customers.
Or maybe it’s the decor, which is tired and gloomy and not incredibly well lit. Whatever the problem, people should get over it–once you get inside this is a nice little dinner place and one I’ll go back to.
The dog stork cometh
March 1, 2010
Meet my new little brother. His name is Kobe. Or Tobe. Or Toby. I’m not sure which, and now my dad’s calling him “doggy-dog.” Their last beloved critter was named “Pusscat,” and the one before that, “Bunnyrabbit.”
I see an unfortunate continuation of a trend here, but at least nobody makes any embarrassing misidentifications of species.
Kobe-Tobe-Toby-DoggyDog (“The Dog,” for short) is a 27 month-old neutered male Maltese with an attitude. If you read my previous post on the subject, you’ll note he’s been a long time coming.
Mom’s been dog-hunting for about six months; she was determined to find a rescue pooch, not a puppy, not elderly, who fit her requirements: White and fluffy, well-behaved, the general size and shape of a dust mop. She pretty much got her wish, except for maybe the well-behaved pet part. And the quiet part.
But they’re working on that.
The previous owners gave up The Dog because…well, because, I guess. They told Mom & Dad he’d never been microchipped (but he was–the chip lists him as belonging to them), that he’d been obedience-trained and that he was housetrained, quiet and well-behaved.
Within 48 hours The Dog made several messes on the carpet, staged (and probably won) several “who can bark the loudest” contests and went after my youngest niece like a terrier after a rat.
Trained. Yeah. Right. He very nearly became the The Ex-Dog, but after much earnest discussion they decided to wait and see what a little time and training would do.
Fortunately, it appears to have done wonders, and I’m not sure if it would have mattered if it didn’t, because Mom and Dad are purely, totally, absolutely in love with The Dog. I think the feeling is mutual. He’s been to the vet (he’s healthy), taken his first obedience classes, and seems to be settling down. He’s also gone shopping with Mom. Several times.
He now possesses more outfits than a supermodel, although Mom insists, rather pointedly, that The Dog’s extensive wardrobe of coats, sweaters, parkas and rainslickers are NOT the product of some ditzy anthropomorphization kick. Instead they’re (a) solely to keep him warm and dry in the damp glassland winters, (b) on sale and (c) necessary because Maltese have hair, not fur (I still don’t get the distinction).
I bought her reasoning until I saw the black rubber raincoat with the red polka-dotted lining. AND matching rainhat. The Dog (at least) had sense enough to refuse the hat, which makes me think he’s smarter than the average bandanna-wearing, superman cape-sporting pooch.
And at least he’s not wearing motorcycle leathers (yet). Turns out my cousins also have Maltese, and regularly have portraits done of their togged-out doggies (right):
You just try putting that nonsense on a cat. You’ll be lucky if you only lose ONE arm.
Anyway, The Dog’s obedience classes seem to be paying off (his barking is down to a dull roar). He sticks within a couple feet of my mother at all times and seems to adore both Mom and Dad.
In the end, that’s all that matters.
Private parts
February 28, 2010
Interesting piece today in the New York Times on the differences in privacy laws between Europe and the US. It forecasts a significant show-down over privacy rights vs. free-flow of online information.
The article zeros in on Google/YouTube’s current Italian legal woes; the court has given prison sentences to Google execs for failing to protect a boy’s privacy. It’s caused waves of shocked incredulity in the online world but demonstrates what “localization” experts understand through painful experience: The global playing field only LOOKS level. In reality, global transactions often paint a thin veneer of universality over a whole bunch of cultural chasms.
Backstory on the case: Someone posted a video on YouTube, showing brutal harassment of an Italian boy with Down’s Syndrome. As is its policy, YouTube reviewed and removed the video in response to a formal complaint, but the Italian courts said that wasn’t enough; by permitting the video to be shown at all, YouTube had ripped this boy’s privacy to shreds. And, BTW, this wasn’t just a civil case; three Google executives received prison sentences (suspended). Google has said it plans to appeal.
In the US, we err on the side of disclosure–if you have a good reason, right-to-know trumps right-to-privacy. There’s a much greater emphasis on individual privacy in continental Europe, but it wasn’t really a problem for US businesses until the Web.
Up till now, the biggest online communities and information centers have been US-based, and their information policies are built on US First Amendment-style notions: Post now, pay later. Don’t blame the online provider for delivering the gun; it’s the membership that actually shot someone with it.
Members can post anything from libel to tutorials for committing illegal acts; as long as the provider can show he wasn’t selectively editing or actively soliciting such content, US courts (mostly) won’t hold him responsible. Many online forums simply couldn’t exist without that protection, and I’m not sure search engines would have gotten very far, either.
That just flat-out doesn’t jibe with old European notions of privacy (ironic, coming from a country that invented the term paparazzi). In their world, no gun=no problem. That’s a notion that sets my geek and journalistic teeth on edge, even as the private me applauds.
US or Europe, freedom of expression doesn’t mean freedom of responsibility for that expression, which is why YouTube did remove the video. The big question is not whether you protect privacy but when. Google and other online providers, despite facing a growing number of privacy lawsuits in Europe (and elsewhere), seem to be dismissing that question as Stone Age thinking.
Personally, I’m not so sure. Given the swiftness of viral information spread once something gets online, the US’ “remove and repair” policy seems more than a little old-fashioned.
I am (and always have been) a strident supporter of First Amendment rights; I’m equally passionate about the right to privacy. Content folk continually work to balance both sides, but I’m beginning to wonder if technology has shifted that balance.
I have no idea how you suppress–or even adequately define–damaging content that shouldn’t be allowed online. Technically, and morally, it’s a really hard problem. A few more decisions like the Italian courts’ and I suspect we will find out exactly how hard it is.