Recovery Road

>>>Recovery Road

Elmo, The Leg, and I are now officially on Recovery Road, located between Bugout Boulevard and Anxious Avenue, a block or two away from Stircrazy Street.

I’m still waiting to feel relieved, celebratory, about the fact that bone is finally growing in The Leg and amputation becomes less and less likely with every good report. Yet what I’m mostly feeling is frustrated. I guess now that the actual end is in sight, it’s

simply.

not.

going.

fast.

enough.

Somebody tell me why I could sit happily for months in a bloody wheelchair, watching the world go by without me, but now that I finally see a green light at the end of the tunnel, I’m going nuts?

Really. My patience is running thin, and my mind is crowded with this kind of nonsense: “It’s less than five steps from my fabulous new window seat to the bed. Why can’t I just WALK THERE!?!?!”

An impatient Cynthia is hardly unusual–my colleagues at work have put up with that for centuries.

Cynthia temper tantrums? Those used to be rare beasts…until January 10, the day they told me the bone was growing and my good ol’ amygdala joined the party.

The resident carpenter has started to take meals in his room, in case something gets thrown at him.

There are dents in the drywall. I kid you not.

So, in the interests of not ending up in a state mental institution, I’m reminding myself to be just a tad more patient, remember that persistence pays off in the end, and to think of all the reasons I should relax and be glad this is FINALLY working:

  • I love love LOVE my new physical therapist, Brenda, and the warm saltwater pool workouts are heavenly.
  • That bloody bone (literally) really is growing, and every time I stand on The Leg, I’m stimulating it to grow even more.
  • More pain means better healing. Every wince is a step forward!
  • The resident carpenter has introduced me to both marijuana and actual inhaling, something I’ve always had a problem with, and lemme tell ya, weed works better than Dilaudid.
  • I can tolerate a leg-down position, so–yay!–I am back in the studio working clay. My first portrait, of the resident carpenter (probably getting ready to duck), shows how rusty I’ve gotten.
  • I don’t have to ditch Tyrone Spiffy the Wheelchair right away, but more and more the grannywalker is a viable mode of transportation.
  • Women on walkers are actually kinda sexy, right?

Yeah. Calm down and enjoy the ride. It’s gonna be maybe six months before I graduate to a cane, and then all hell breaks loose.

In the meantime, anybody got something I can throw?

2018-05-08T20:51:20+00:00

10 Comments

  1. ellen abbott January 23, 2018 at 7:08 am - Reply

    The news just keeps getting better and better. You’ve endured forced acceptance for over a year waiting for progress and fearing the worst. Now that the long hoped for future is within grasp no wonder you are impatient. No doubt your long suppressed fear/anger is also being let go. Hooray!

  2. Diana tillotson January 22, 2018 at 7:52 pm - Reply

    Oh, don’t rush it now and ruin it, be patient just a little bit longer , you’ve come SO far. Enjoy this transition time, you’ve come such a long way baby! Your resident carpenter is easy on the eyes, nice sculpture .

  3. Faye Liston January 22, 2018 at 6:42 pm - Reply

    Try meditating every day. Do some breathing exercises. Watch your food choices carefully. It’s time to start setting goals for your new and improved lifestyle. You will do this!

  4. carenashfordaren January 22, 2018 at 5:42 pm - Reply

    yah you, fantastic really do know how you feel, have been in my powerchair 11yrs and now finally starting to walk as well….go you…..

  5. Cyndy January 22, 2018 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    Let ‘er rip! But get pillows and nerf batons and nerf guns.

  6. Kathy January 22, 2018 at 5:00 pm - Reply

    Sculpture Nate looks GREaT to me. Sorry about you being stuck in the in-between.
    When my son was very young, I learned that when he’d become uncharacteristically frustrated and angry it meant he was close to the next developmental breakthrough, like walking or talking. This must be programmed into humans, maybe all animals, and it drives us.

  7. Charlotte January 22, 2018 at 4:19 pm - Reply

    I was seriously wondering when you’d just explode?!?!??? How you’ve remained so steady through all this is astounding! Nate has good reflexes! But he might get grouchy about the drywall. You are doing great! ❤️

  8. Sandy January 22, 2018 at 4:06 pm - Reply

    I’d say you are having a perfectly normal reaction to months of waiting. The screaming pottery smashing just might be a good idea. It will at least give the kind carpenter a break.

  9. Island Fused Glass January 22, 2018 at 3:55 pm - Reply

    Cynthia
    I feel for you. I did 4.5 months in leg traction and then 2.5 months in a body cast, from my chest down my torso and then down one leg, no bending anywhere. I was 23yrs old. I kept asking myself over and over again what am I learning from this, I think for me it was patience. I was on crutches for about a year, and have always had a cane not too far way since. Sometimes I don’t use it for months, sometimes like today I can’t walk without it, my family even my gkids don’t say anything when they see me using it, it is just that old “friend” that pops in and,out of our lives. I am thankful that I have a leg and that I can walk.
    You can do this girlfriend…we all have bad days, yours right now are just harder to escape from.
    Peace Janet

  10. Cheryl Sattler January 22, 2018 at 3:46 pm - Reply

    I say get thee to a thrift store, but out all the pretty crockery, throw it (screaming OPA! is optional), and make a mosaic. Maybe give it to the carpenter, assuming he survives.

Comments welcome! (thanks)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: