So I’m in a lovely hotel room in Warsaw, frantically hemming a pair of new pants for the morning and trying to figure out exactly how I got here.

I’d imagine you guys have a few questions, too, so here goes: First, I’m getting married.

And no, I’m not marrying The Resident Carpenter.*

Meet Chuck.

My fiance, Chuck.

He’s a retired sailor and widower with two incredible adult kids, Hugo and Sarah Jane, and one of the smartest, kindest curmudgeons on the planet.

I’d love to say that we met when he dashed in to save me from a burning building.

Or when we both grabbed for the same painting at the art auction, our fingers touched and…kismet.

Or when he stood in line for hours, patiently waiting for me to autograph my latest bestseller, but was so overwhelmed by my charismatic presence that he instantly dropped to one knee and proposed. (This presumes, of course, that I’d actually written a bestseller…)

Nope. We met in the most prosaic of ways: E-harmony.

Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s true: I found the love of my life on…e-harmony.

Now here’s the thing: Aside from a too-young-for-marriage marriage, I’ve been on my own most of my life, and perfectly content. Dating interfered with my professional life, and nobody but nobody was going to tell me how to live. I made my own money, my own decisions, bought my own homes, took my own (very rare) vacations, managed several very successful careers.

Then I fell, and the Resident Carpenter appeared. Suddenly I had somebody to do stuff with instead of going solo. We went to the coast, traveled to Canada,** foraged for mushrooms, rescued squirrels…despite some pretty dire problems (such as trying to get out of that wheelchair), I was having a blast.

So when the RC moved on, I realized I LIKED having a companion. I enjoyed traveling-with a lot more than traveling solo. I wasn’t into romance, but I didn’t want to go back to doing everything alone, either.

So…e-harmony. I paid my money, set up a profile, and made it absolutely crystal clear that I was looking for friends, not prospective mates.

Here’s the thing about e-harmony: Most e-harmony folks ARE looking for prospective mates. Or at least, prospective mating.

I just about gave up when I met one guy for dinner and he handed me a pack (a PACK) of condoms before we’d finished our salads. Another guy enthusiastically agreed that we weren’t looking for romance, then on the second date asked for my preferred wedding bouquets “just in case.”

I’d been talking with this guy, Chuck, in the e-harmony chat rooms, and we seemed to have a lot in common. The transition from online conversation to face-to-face meeting can be tricky with online dating sites, but we finally agreed to meet up for a quick drink.

We wound up staying for dinner. We laughed a lot, stayed away from icky subjects like romance, and just…discovered each other.

We hit up art galleries, took trips to the coast, went to wine tastings, garden shops (where I discovered that I love buying plants even if I hate actually planting the damn things)…it got so that I was spending every weekend with him.

A few months of this, and Chuck told me he was in love. With me. Panic.

Naturally, I fled to my mother. “Uhm, Mom, what the heck do I do with THAT?”

Mom gave me The Look. “Is there something about the way your father and I raised you,” she asked carefully, “That made you allergic to love? Why not just relax and enjoy it?”

I took her advice, and a few weeks later I realized I was in love, too. (With Chuck). He asked if, assuming we felt the same way in June of 2026, we should announce an engagement. I said, “Sure,” and he froze.

“Did you just accept my proposal of marriage?” he asked.

“I guess I did.”

And that was that. We started house-hunting (more on that later), ordered our engagement and wedding rings, and we’re mostly just waiting for the dust to clear. In the meantime, we’ve started the honeymoon, down the Rhine, Main, and Moselle rivers to shop every bloody Christmas market from Warsaw to Paris.

We’ve spent so much time investigating cathedrals and churches and monasteries along the way that I should have titled this post, “Going to the chapel….” except that we haven’t, yet.

At some point, probably in that June of 2026 timeframe, we’ll actually tie the knot.

Wish us luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Good heavens, no–Nathan was NEVER in that particular picture; our relationship was more like brother and sister…or maybe rebellious teen and mother. Nathan has his own main squeeze, and he’s finally found a good job and a new home in another town. 

**Well, ALMOST to Canada…the RC had a little problem with a felony conviction he’d forgotten to mention and the Canadians kindly invited him to stay home.